Untwisting The Lies Of Sex & Relationship

“It’s passionate! It’s full of possibilities! It’s fun!”

How often do you say that about sex and relationship?

If you’re anything like the majority of people on this planet… not very much. You wish it to be this way. You know more is possible when it comes to joining bodies and lives. But what you may be saying instead are things like:

“It’s so unsatisfying. It’s so boring. I don’t get it: is this all there is?”

We’ve twisted ourselves up in the lies of sex and relationships instead of the possibilities and pleasure of them. There’s no fault to this: no blame or shame is going to untwist us from these limitations.

Instead, use the 4 E’s to move out of the invisible cage of abuse and into another possibility with sex and relationship.

But wait – what does abuse have to do with this?

Everything. If you’ve ever experienced abuse, the lies and limitations you’ve bought around sex and relationship are often turned up to high volume. (Like how it’s dangerous to receive or sex is bad or relationships are an obligation not an enjoyment, etc.) Even if you weren’t physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually, or financially abused, all the judgments you carry (and were taught) about sex and relationships are a subtle but pervasive form of abuse.

So are you ready to turn the volume down and untwist the lies?

Use the 4 E’s to begin untwisting the lies so you can experience the possibilities and enjoyment of sex and relationships:

EXAMINE

Where did you learn those twisted perspectives about sex and relationship? Your parents? Who did they learn it from? Who did they learn it from? Where else did you pick up limited views?

When you’re able to see the limited beliefs you have about sex and relationship you can begin to see they are perspectives: they are not real.

EMBRACE

Would you be willing to embrace the partner(s) you’ve chosen past and present and realize you picked the perfect people to be in relationship with to give you the right amount of judgment that affirms your own judgments of yourself?

I know, more twistedness. See how we do such a great job of keeping ourselves in the invisible cage of abuse? By embracing your partner(s) (not necessarily literally!) you’re also embracing yourself, knowing you chose based on your twisted points of views. Now, you can change this.

EMBODY

What are all the decisions, judgments, identities and limitations you’ve locked into your body about sex and relationship? How can your body enjoy being in its own skin let alone being with another person with all of this baggage?

When you’re willing to look at all of those (EXAMINE) and release them, you can open to the possibilities of embodiment and communion, with yourself and others.

EXPAND

Expand beyond all of this: not as a bypass, but as a way to see you are MORE than the lies and limitations. You are full of possibilities. You can be fun!

When you commit to loving yourself, and to bringing your kindness and caring to yourself first, you expand the possibilities to receiving and creating more love, kindness and caring in your life, in sex and in relationships.

Untwisting the lies of sex and relationships is not something that happens overnight. It doesn’t happen with an hour of facilitation. I say this as I know a lot of people crave instant change. The truth is, it does BEGIN with a CHOICE, which is something you can make this INSTANT.

Untwisting the lies requires learning new ways of being and doing that invite in practice, exploration, play and possibility. The good news? Once you CHOOSE to untwist the lies you embark on a journey of exploring more possibilities with pleasure!